People have often said to me that the thought of standing up and speaking in front of a crowd terrifies them. I can relate – even after all these years I am still often nervous in the pulpit. What may surprise you though is that on a Sunday, for me, preaching and leading worship is not as scary as interacting spontaneously after the service with people that I don’t know well or have never met. I can relate to those of you who want to get out of the parking lot as quickly as you can after a service :)

But, my fellow-introverts, we need to do the hard work of risking awkward conversation, because we need to be in community! There is good news though – I came across something recently that psychologists call “the liking gap”. Research shows that many people after a conversation will go away feeling self-critical (‘why did I say that?’,’they must think I’m an idiot...’) and that there is a gap between how much we think the other person likes or appreciates us and how much they actually do. In essence, other people like us significantly more than we think – this is the liking gap.

So, can I encourage you to invest in community by having a friendly conversation with someone this Sunday, to trust that you have something to say that is worth hearing, and to remember that you and I are more likeable than we think! And you extroverts can make it easier on the rest of us by taking the first step :)