On Thursday this week it took me three hours to get to the office on my morning commute (there were accidents on the M13 and Field's Hill was closed for a few hours, while hundreds of us sat in Durban's biggest parking lot ... waiting).
At first, I was in introvert heaven :) I listened to my Lectio365 devotional and drank my coffee. But after some time had passed, I could feel my rising frustration and disproportionate anger with drivers trying to force their way into queues in front of me. Jesus said once that the state of our hearts is on display whenever we speak ("out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" Luke 6:45). He could have added that our inner world is there for all to see when stuck in traffic for long periods of time ...
So what do we do when we are disappointed by our behaviour or words or attitudes? Well, we don't need to pile on the self-condemnation. In such moments, we've been given a gift of seeing ourselves as we really are and we can now examine ourselves with curiosity and compassion and ask the God of grace to lead us in a new way. Author Tito Colliander tells a story about a monk who was once asked, “What do you do there in the monastery?” The monk replied, “We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again.”
Although I was ready for a traffic jam, you'll be pleased to know that Friday morning's commute was calm and peaceful :)